How Diet and Productivity Culture Gaslight You with Two Simple Words

Lazy and fat. Two toxic words that sum up diet and productivity culture-just two sides of the same misogynist, racist coin that’s been our collective inheritance since slavery ended. Don’t take my word for it. Take Sabrina Strings’, in Fearing the Black Body, where she documents how fatphobia was never really about health. It was a post-emancipation effort to paint Black women as morally inferior through their bodies. It’s not a diet trend-it’s oppression in Spanx.

And if you think that’s too heavy a place to start, stick around. It’s going somewhere freeing.

When “Fat” and “Lazy” Start to Sound the Same

A few weeks ago, I had a client sit in front of me and use the words “fat” and “lazy” interchangeably to describe the changes she feared making.

Not what she feared would happen.
Not what she was afraid others would say.

But what she’d already decided was true about herself. Preemptively. Harshly. Quietly. Like a whispered confession.

That moment snapped something into focus: in the twisted logic of diet and productivity culture, fat = lazy = bad person. And even though they’re entirely different concepts, we treat them like synonyms.

It’s not just her. It’s all of us. We say things like:

• “I was so bad this weekend. I ate so much. I feel disgusting.”
• “I was totally lazy today. I didn’t get anything done. I feel gross.”

Different scripts. Same shame spiral.

Why These Words Have Nothing to Do with Each Other-and Everything to Do With Control

Let’s break this down.

“Fat” is a body size.

Not a behavior. Not a moral failing. Not a sin.

“Lazy” is a judgment about activity.

Not a diagnosis. Not an identity. Not a crime.

But both have been turned into codes for unworthiness.
They serve as social shorthand for “You’re not trying hard enough. You should be better than this.”

Both are used to:

• Dismiss people.
• Avoid empathy.
• Enforce conformity.
• Justify harm.

And ironically? The data doesn’t even back the assumptions. In fact, one study published in Preventing Chronic Disease (Matheson et al., 2008) found that “overweight” individuals were more likely than those in the “normal” BMI category to engage in the top four health behaviors: not smoking, moderate drinking, eating fruits and vegetables, and regular exercise.

In other words: fat people are often healthier than you think-and certainly not lazy.

Meanwhile, many thin or “fit” people can be metabolically unhealthy, sedentary, and deeply disconnected from their bodies. But we rarely question their habits, because they look the part.

Fat and Lazy as Social Control

Both words carry moral weight.
They shame. They silence. They sort people into “good” and “bad” categories that align with productivity, whiteness, ableism, and capitalism.

Let’s be real:

• Fatphobia and ableism share a zip code.
• So do hustle culture and chronic burnout.
• Neither one leaves room for rest, illness, neurodivergence, or simply… being human.

Because here’s the thing: Every organism needs rest.
Every. Single. One.

And yet we treat rest as something to earn. We treat softness as a threat. We treat slowing down as suspicious.

It’s like we believe the world will stop spinning if we take a nap.

Spoiler: it won’t.

The Psychology of These Labels (And Why They're So Hard to Shake)

In my therapy practice, clients rarely say “I feel fat” or “I am lazy” out loud at first. They flinch from the words. But the beliefs are there, coiled up just beneath the surface:

• The guilt over eating more than a “clean” lunch.
• The panic over taking a weekend off.
• The shame of existing in a larger body.
• The constant need to justify their worth through effort.
  
  

These beliefs aren’t neutral. They are judgments-and judgment is a powerful defense mechanism. It gives us an illusion of control. It tells us: “If I can just be good enough, thin enough, busy enough… maybe I’ll be safe. Maybe I’ll belong.”

But here’s the truth: Judgment doesn’t protect you. It does not motivate you. It does not restore you. It is just one opinion. It keeps you stuck in someone else’s belief system, too afraid to ask your own questions. And half the time, the measuring stick we’re using? It doesn’t even belong to us.

Fatphobia, Productivity Culture, and the Myth of the Poodle

There’s a classic analogy in body diversity circles called Poodle Science (shoutout to ASDAH). The gist: imagine trying to make every dog look and behave like a poodle. It would be absurd. A mastiff isn’t a poodle. A greyhound isn’t a poodle. A corgi? Definitely not.

We accept diversity in dogs-but in humans? We pretend there’s one ideal size, one ideal schedule, one ideal way to exist. Usually thin, white, cis, able-bodied, neurotypical, and employed.

Well, I don’t want to be a poodle. I want to be a Samoyed. Or a Great Pyrenees. Or maybe one of those scrappy terriers that naps in sunbeams and doesn’t give a damn. Or Spicy Cat from those funny vet videos (@drmollysays)

Humans aren’t machines. We are messy, weird, tired, brave animals with needs and rhythms and histories. And those don’t fit into a productivity tracker or a diet plan.

Mindful Self-Compassion: The Antidote to Moral Panic

So what do we do instead?

We start with compassion.
Not the inaccurate and condescending kind that says “It’s fine, just do nothing forever.”
But the grounded kind that says, “You’re still worthy, even when you’re not performing.”

Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC) teaches three things:

1. Mindfulness – noticing what you’re feeling without spiraling.
2. Common Humanity – reminding yourself that you’re not alone.
3. Self-Kindness – speaking to yourself the way you would to someone you love.

Because self-compassion isn’t weakness.
It’s clarity. It’s strength.
It’s looking at yourself and saying:

“I am a human being. I do not need to earn my place here.”

So, What Do You Do When “Fat” or “Lazy” Shows Up?

Try this:

When the word “fat” or “lazy” pops into your mind, stop and ask:

• What do I really mean?
• Where did I learn this?
• Whose voice is this?
• Would I say this to someone I love?

When someone else says it, ask yourself:

• Is this about me? Or their discomfort?
• Is there any kindness in this belief?
• Is this motivating-or is it just punishment?

Most of the time, “fat” and “lazy” aren’t facts.
They’re fear and shame, dressed up as discipline and moral superiority. You know it’s impossible and that all of the people selling you the shame have not done what they are telling you to do. 

But Wait-Isn’t This Just Glorifying Laziness and Obesity?

Let’s talk about the part that makes some people squirm. The backlash. The angry comments. The eye-rolls. The voice in your head that says,

“Okay, but… fat is unhealthy. And laziness is a problem. Isn’t this just making excuses?”

That’s not a silly question. It’s just one baked in a culture of fear, control, and very bad science.

So let’s break down a few common objections:

“Being fat is unhealthy. Stop denying facts.”

Actually? The data says otherwise. A study in Preventing Chronic Disease found that “overweight” individuals were more likely than “normal-weight” folks to engage in all four of the top health behaviors:
🍎 eating fruits and veggies
🚭 not smoking
🍷 moderate alcohol use
🏃‍♀️ regular exercise

So no, being fat doesn’t mean someone is unhealthy. And being thin doesn’t mean they are. Bodies are complex. Health is multifaceted. And shame? It’s not a health strategy.

“You’re just promoting laziness.”

Nope. I’m promoting curiosity and compassion. There’s a difference.

Most people labeled “lazy” are actually:

• Burnt out
• Grieving
• Neurodivergent
• Traumatized
• Physically or mentally unwell
• Or simply living in a body that works differently than yours

If we stopped using “lazy” as a catch-all insult and asked what’s really going on, we might actually help people.

“You’re letting people off the hook.”

Off the hook for what, exactly? For being human?

Self-compassion isn’t about avoiding responsibility. It’s about meeting yourself honestly and kindly-so that real change is even possible.

Because spoiler: people don’t heal from judgment. They heal from being seen, held, and supported.

“This only works for people with privilege.”

Let’s be real: not everyone has access to rest, care, or safety. Some folks are surviving systems that demand everything and offer nothing.

That’s why this isn’t just a mindset issue-it’s a justice issue.

If your instinct is to hustle until you drop, ask where that belief came from-and who benefits from it.

TL;DR?

This post isn’t about glorifying “bad choices.” It’s about questioning the idea that bodies and effort define worth.

Because if “lazy” and “fat” are just weapons we’ve been taught to use against ourselves… maybe it’s time to put them down.

A Journal Prompt

“What does it mean to me to be ‘lazy’ or ‘fat’? Where did I learn those definitions? Are they helping me live my values-or keeping me afraid?”

An Affirmation

“I am more than what I produce. I am more than how I look. I do not owe anyone a performance of worthiness to deserve rest, care, or love.”

Your Call to (In)action

Here’s my challenge to you:

Next time you think or hear the words “lazy” or “fat,” pause.
Ask what’s underneath.
Ask who benefits from your shame.
And ask if you’re ready to put that shame down.

You don’t need it.
It never made you stronger.
It only made you scared.

Let’s stop using these words to wound ourselves-and start getting curious about who we might be without them.

Need more support unlearning these stories?
Therapy is a place where we ask better questions-and give ourselves better answers. If you’re ready to explore what rest, care, and belonging look like on your own terms, I’m here.

Resources & Links

• Strings, S. (2019). Fearing the Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fat Phobia. NYU Press.
• Matheson, E. M., et al. (2008). “Healthy lifestyle habits and mortality in overweight and obese individuals.” Preventing Chronic Disease, 5(2): A44.
• Neff, K. D., & Germer, C. K. (2013). The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook.
• Health at Every Size® principles – Association for Size Diversity and Health (https://asdah.org/)
• “Poodle Science” video 
• The Problem with Poodle Science